screwing with England
by Yazuka Mitsuoni
Summary: when a girl sits bored at her computer, look what happens to poor Arthur.... EnglandXrussia kinda


Become one With Russia!

"One beautiful day, everyones favorite Nation was dozing beneath a tree, loathing that 'Oaf' Alfred.

"This is getting to be boring..." He thought aloud. "He isnt worth my time...!"

"*GASP* Did he just say that?! I could sit here all day and watch his eyebrows flow in the win--"

"I can hear you..." England said, cutting off the narrarator.

"Oh, sorry bout that..."

"Wait... That voice... Tonya?? Is that you??"

"....Yes..."

"Tcch... So troublesome..." He mumbled standing. He walked away from the tree he was sleeping under-- most likely trying to ditch the narrarator he just pinned to be a mere fangirl.

"You cant get rid of me that easily!! Im in your head!! Ah-hahaha!!!"

"Great, Tonyas inside my head... I must be crazy..."

"Well.... You werent... Untill you just told yourself youre crazy..."

"Wait... What??"

"And Now youre talking to the voice inside your head!! Youre totally nuts, man..."

"Well, do you think you can leave me alone, now...?" He asked the voice inside his head

"I cannot leave... Im inside your head...."

"Fine... I'll just ignore you..."

"Tcch, you can TRY! I mean-- look at France... Poor soul... I almost feel bad for what I did..."

"..."

"Ahh.... Youths defiance... I know what I can do to fix this..." If voices could smirk, this one was doing just that. "I love you, You love me/ We're a happy family/ with a great big hug..." The narrarator known as Tonya began to sing at the top of her lungs. Going totally off key mind you...

Arthurs eye began to twitch.

"And a kiss from me to you!! WONT YOU SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO?!?" She screamed the last part.

"NO!! PLEASE!!! ANYTHING BUT THAT SOOONNNGGG!!!!!" England screamed at the top of his lungs. Closing his eyes shut and gripping his head in pure agony. By this time, he was in the middle of a bustling street, and gained many strange looks. I mean- Its not everyday a grown man comes down here screaming at nothing. Except for that one time with Germany... But thats a different story.

"IGIRISUUUU!!!" A girl with dark brown hair screamed, tackling him to the ground. She stood and brushed herself off before spotting japan. "NIHOOON!!!!" She screamed running off to tackle the timid Japan.

"What the hell was that??"

"Lauren."

"What...?"

"Yep..."

"Why did she tackle me...?'' He said rubbing the back of his neck

"She glomped you...."

"Ooookay...? Well, why?"

"I had to add her into this story. Just to glomp you....."

"What story...?''

"The one Im writing right now!!"

"Well, why glomp me here??" He asked getting a bit annoyed at the girls voice, not getting enough information out of her.

"This is the story, silly! Thats why im in your head! Im writing a story, causing you to do anything and everything I want!! Muahahahaha!!!" The voice got silent. "Hmmm.. What do I want to do now... Oh! I know!! Ill make you confess your love to the persons name I pull out from this ziplock baggie!!"

"troublesome..."

"And just for that... Im going to add all the boys names too...!"

"And...?"

"And.... Uh... three extra Belarus'!!"

"No!!! You wouldnt!!!?"

"Hm..... now... lets pull a name...."

".................."

"................."

"Well....?"

"Sorry, i had to take a bite of pizza before it got cold.... Lets see... No.... I dont like that one.... Not this one either.. Oh... Yeahh!!! You shall confess your love to...."

"Lemme guess.... Alfred...?"

"Uh, no."

"Then who???"

"Drumroll please!! duh-duh-duh! Russia!"

"I...Hate you......"

"And I love you

"I dare you to say that again..."

"Psssh!! This is _**MY**_ story, so I can do whatever I want...! Nyah" England was quite sure that the voice was sticking out the invisible tongue she had... "Now... Arrrthuuurrr.....??"

"What....?"

"GO CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO IVAN, RIGHT NOW!!!"

"I hate you so much right now..."

"Hate is such a very strong word/but I really really really dont like you~" She started to sing off key again.

"ALRIGHT!! JUST STOP SINGING!!! For the love of God...."

"You know you like my singing..."

"Pssh... as if...!"

"Jerk...."

"Damn straight...!"

"So says the one who is about to confess his love to another man...!"

"Uh--!...."

"Ah-HAH!! Checkmate, loser!! And oh, look!! Here Ivan comes now...!" He turned his head to look down the street at the man he was to confess his love to. Ivan wiped his hair out of his peircing purple eyes. He looked up at the sky, standing in the middle of the street. Arthurs heart skipped a beat.

"It did NOT!!" He yelled up at the sky. Almost as if he had figured out where she was.

"Eh?? Arthur, whatre you going on about?" Russia said, laughing, coming up to him.

"Nothing... just the voice inside my head..." His laughter ceased, as he gave the other nation a strange look.

"Okaay...?"

"Oh, England....???? DO IT!! DO IT NOW!!"

"FINE!! Jesus, christ, Tonya!!" Ivan raised his eyebrow.

"So the voice inside your head is named Tonya? Are you feeling alright??" He took his hand and placed it on Englands forehead. His face flushed pink, knowing what he had to do.

"Russia...?"

"Hmm....?" He turned his back to England and started walking. Being the obedient pet Tonya made him, he followed closely behind.

"I think I...." He rushed the last part, "I'mextremelyinlovewithyou...!!" Ivan stopped suddenly.

"Eh?? Whatd you say?? Say it slower...." England took a deep breath. He didnt want to do it, but could almost feel the narrarators 'gun' pointed to his back.

"I... Love you..." He closed his eyes tightly, almost expecting Russia to turn and hit him with the pipe. But instead, turned and faced him with a strange look. England turned away. "Im sorry.. To--" He was met with Ivans arms wrapping around him tightly.

"Hmm... I guess you were able to say it first..." He mumbled. "I love you too, Arthur Kirkland..." He whispered ever so sweetly into the nape of his neck. A mixture of emotions such as 'OMG' 'WTF' and"please God, just kill me right now...' spread across the mans face.

"Ahh... couldnt have put it better if I would have wrote it myself!!" The narrator said with a tiumphant smirk.

"Uh... Tonya.... you did write it..." Lauren pointed out.

"Poolanddd!!! Chiiina!!" The two looked at eachother. Courtney peeked around the corner and gave the rape face that even Belarus is scared of.....

FIN


End file.
